


from missing too much

by maleclipse



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Immortal Husbands, M/M, Past Character Death, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-13 14:10:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18470563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maleclipse/pseuds/maleclipse
Summary: “We should talk about it,” says Max one day, “I’ve been reading.”“No,” Magnus answers. He doesn’t want to hear it. “It’s just someone who looks like him.”(or, the reincarnation fic no one asked for.)





	from missing too much

**Author's Note:**

> (i lied. my dear lovely baby sof asked for this.) 
> 
> if you want something to listen to while reading, then try cameron sanderson's oh love. i had it on repeat while writing.

The first time it happens, Magnus is sure he has lost his mind.

There is a man, looking just like Alexander on the other side of the road. There’s no runes, but Magnus could recognize that posture any day. And he’s watching Magnus with the same intensity that Alec did 72 years ago, too.

When the man notices Magnus’ look, he turns his head quickly and vanishes to the crowd of people.

“What is it?” Jonas asks next to him, squeezing his hand tightly. Magnus watches their joined hands and there’s a lump in his throat. Suddenly, it feels just wrong, wrong, _wrong_. It’s their third date and Magnus has really enjoyed himself, he has, but it just feels _wrong_ and he thinks he just saw _Alexander_ and everything is too much.

“I’m _sorry-_ ,” Magnus gasps, “I-- can’t. I think I saw-”

There’s something that almost resembles understanding, when Jonas just squeezes his hand once more and drops it.

Magnus realizes there’s tears running down his cheeks.

“I know a man who’s just gotten through a rough break up when I see one,” Jonas tells him, “don’t worry about it.”

 _Just gotten through a break up._ Yeah. Sure.

“It’s not-,” Magnus tries again, “my husband died.”

“Oh,” Jonas says, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“It’s okay,” Magnus whispers, “you didn’t know.”

Jonas smiles sadly. Magnus knows the date is their last one, but it’s okay. Jonas is a mundane anyways.

 _You need to go out more. Fall in love again_ , Max keeps saying.

Now he can tell Max he at least tried. 

 

The second time it happens, Magnus breaks down crying in the middle of a coffee shop. The man is there, _right there_ , and suddenly Magnus is running out of the shop to the nearest alley to make a portal.

It was their favourite coffee shop. It still is Magnus’ favourite coffee shop.

(It’s Alec’s fault Magnus never uses magic to summon coffee anymore. Alexander wouldn’t drink it, if it was stolen.)

He can’t understand why there’s a man just like his husband everywhere he goes, but he suspects it’s his mind playing tricks to him, from missing too much.

It hurts. 

 

The third time it happens, the man is just reading a book outside his apartment building. He seems just as surprised to see Magnus as Magnus is to see him.

For a moment, both of them just stare.

The man stands up and Magnus leaves.

 

The fourth time Magnus is not alone. He’s with Max.

“Papa?” Max whispers. His voice is broken and cracks half-way through.

Magnus looks at Max, expects him to be looking at him like he’s mad for just stopping dead in his tracks. But no, Max’s eyes are glued on the man, too.

Magnus can’t breathe.

“ _You can see him too?_ ”

“Papa?” Max asks again. “Is that-?”

The man notices them, something flashes in his eyes and he _smiles_ and it’s just like _Alexander_.

“Dad?” Max croaks out and sounds so utterly _hurt_ that it makes Magnus’ heart break. “Papa, it can’t be- _he looks just like dad._ ”

Magnus feels the tears running down his cheeks. When he blinks to stop them, the man is gone.

“ _Max_ ,” Magnus only breathes out and Max seems to understand.

They portal back home from the next quiet place.

 

“We should talk about it,” says Max one day, “I’ve been reading.”

“No,” Magnus answers. He doesn’t want to hear it. “It’s just someone who looks like him.”

 

There’s a knock on Magnus’ door. It’s something familiar but yet so unfamiliar intruding his wards, wanting to get through them.

It’s a pulse of magic. Magic that Magnus has yet not met.

And it feels so calming Magnus wants to cry.

“Who is it?” Magnus asks. His voice comes weaker than supposed, but he knows from the sounds coming from behind the door that he’s been heard.

“It’s-,” a pause, but Magnus doesn’t need to hear more. He _knows_ that voice. It’s deep, rough, _calm_ and Magnus never thought he would hear again.

With a flick of his wrist, the door opens.

And Magnus only stares. 

(He’s been doing that a lot, lately.)

“ _Alexander?_ ” 

The man, _Alexander?_ is about to step in, when Magnus’ magic reacts ahead of time. There’s a flicker of purple, defensive and _curious_ bursting through his fingertips.

It meets with bright orange and fades into nothing. 

_What the fuck._

“I guess that’s one way to greet your husband,” the man chuckles. But it can’t be. It can’t.

“You can’t be him,” Magnus manages to whisper. 

“I am,” he says and Magnus takes a hesitant step forward. 

“No,” Magnus says. “You can’t be real. You’re some kind of demon or-- my father’s plan to get me back to Edom.”

He expects the man to laugh and agree, but instead he only smiles sadly and says, “I fell down the stairs after our first date.”

Magnus smiles at the memory, but still shakes his head.

“You had a secret stash of cereal under our _bed_ , Magnus. _Our bed._ ”

Yes, he did. He still has. 

And, fuck, Magnus might be crazy, but he  _knows_ it's Alexander. He knows. 

“Why now?” Magnus asks silently.

There’s a flicker of hope in _Alec’s_ eyes.

“I wasn’t sure if you wanted to see me,” he whispers. “I wanted to, but you were on a _date_.”

And yes, that is something Alec would say.

“You _stupid_ nephilim,” Magnus mumbles and Alec cracks a smile.

“Warlock, actually.”

 _What_?

“What?” Magnus asks.

“I’m a warlock, _love_ ,” Alec says and, _oh_ , no one else could call Magnus _love_ like that.

“Can I-,” Magnus doesn’t have to say more, when Alec is already closing the gap between them and gathering him into his arms.

It’s just a hug, but it makes Magnus’ knees weak. It’s warm, it’s familiar, it’s _Alexander_ and it feels _home._ Magnus doesn’t remember when was the last time he has felt like this, like he’s alive again.

“Is it really you?” Magnus chokes out between the sobs.

“Yes,” Alec whispers, _“yes, I’m here.”_

Magnus crashes their lips together like the world is ending. Alec is crying, too, and everything is messy and wet and _so familiar_ and _perfect._

“Oh, love,” Magnus says against Alec’s lips, “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” Alec says softly, “ _so much_. I’m so sorry it took so long.”

72 years is a long time to wait, but Magnus would wait more than that.

Magnus would wait an eternity. 

**Author's Note:**

> hello and thank you and i don't even know!!!!!
> 
> kudos and comments appreciated,,


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